【Lose Your Virginity/失去童貞】
是這樣的，這本書(或應該說只是一些指導圖卡)，是我在倫敦流浪時，逛書店看到的，我覺得實在是太有趣深深的吸引我，加上他是用鐵盒裝的於是我就買下它了，實在是太白爛了旁邊還寫著"Stop Masturbating And START LIVING!" (停止自慰，開始生活!)。
裡面的內容就這樣，一本小書、20張圖卡、一張證書，非常簡潔有力不跟你拖泥帶水囉嗦，也就是教你如何失去你的童真不在家裡自己打手槍，完全性的教導。(幹，可是我可沒說男生就可因此在外面給我亂上妹，髒死了會得性病)
那為何我買了2年今天突然想打這個review呢，因為我突然想澇英文怎樣不可以分享嗎
不是，其實是因為我前年拍了一個Beirut的烏克麗麗cover，我把這個東西放在我身後，結果入鏡後吸引了滿多網友的眼光，就這樣不小心的發現大家都有點變態。
 |
| 有看到嗎? |
那我就廢話不多說開始給大家看裡面的"性交指示圖卡"，那我會再打圖卡後的解釋，就不多拍了因為大家不喜歡看字喜歡看圖-
1.Missionary/傳教士 - Difficulty 0 / Pleasure 4
-This is the most common sexual position. It's also the least difficult. Just fall on top of each other, and there you have it! Nobody knows why it is called "missionary."although I once dated a girl who used to be a real missionary, and she didn't mind this position. No sir, she didn't mind it all! (Fun Fact: Armadillos also have sex in this position.)
-這是最常見的姿勢也是最簡單的。只要壓在對方身上，就好了! 沒有人知道為何這是叫"傳教士"，不過我之前真的跟一個傳教士女生交往，然後她不在意這個姿勢。是的，她完全不在意! (Fun Fact:犰狳也是用這個姿勢性交)
2.Doggy Style/狗性交式 - Difficulty 2 / Pleasure 4
 |
-很激烈的辯論於到底是誰發明了這個姿勢。犬類還是得到大部份的功德(還收取使用費)。不過犀牛大堂在國會示威去改它的正式名稱 (*這連我自己都不知道到底要如何翻，反正就是英式幽默他想表示犀牛也有功德就對了)。但這是一個很好的姿勢如果你的伴侶不想給你看到她羞恥的流淚水。
3.Standing Missionary / 站著的傳教士 - Difficulty 4 / Pleasure 4
-Think people who have sex lying down are lazy? You're damn right! some of us don't have the time to lie down like some lazy loafer---we've got jobs, dammit!
This position is the favorite among important people for whom time is money. President John Kennedy used this position almost exclusively, often while taking phone calls, wearing only his tie and a belt.
-你覺得躺下來做愛的人很懶嗎? 你他媽沒錯! 我們有些人根本沒有時間躺下來像其他懶蟲--我們有工作欸媽的逼!
這個姿勢是很多重要人士對於他們來說時間就是金錢的最愛。肯尼迪總統就是幾乎完全都用這個姿勢接他的電話，只穿著他的領帶跟皮帶。
3.Virtual embrace /虛擬的擁抱 - Difficult 2 / Pleasure 1
(WTF?!)
I don't feel like wasting my time typing this one.
我不想浪費時間打這個。
4.Circle Of Desire / 慾望的圈圈 - Difficulty 9 / Pleasure 10
(WTFx2?!)
-This very difficult move requires you to get so hot and worked up that you and your partner literally burst into flames. Quickly form a loop and make sure the dog you use is a trained professional.
-這個非常困難的姿勢需要你非常的賣力到你跟你的伴侶真的起火。然後快速的形成一個圈圈，然後確定你用的那隻狗是受訓過專業的。
hey! they've a book about it!
5. Ass Hat / 屁帽 - Difficulty 5 / Pleasure 2
(who does this?!?!)
-I'll admit, this one is really more of a novelty move. If it's a rainy day, and you're bored, and the two of you are stuck inside...give it a whirl.
-我承認，這個是個小說般的舉動。如果是下雨天，你很無聊，然後你們兩都困在家...試試看吧。
(我個人覺得不要常是因為匯進醫院上新聞)
7.The Car Crash / 車禍 - Difficulty 6 / Pleasure 3
- Like a grisly auto accident, you and your partner will be unable to take your eyes off each other. This move is even better when performed on the side of a highway.
-有如一場可怕的車禍，你跟你的伴侶將無法把目光移到其他地方。這個姿勢在高速公路旁表演會更棒。
(其實到後面就越來越莫名其妙了)
8.Jackknife / 折刀式 - Difficulty 6 / Pleasure 7
-Balance is key in this position, as well as good, strong core muscles. this acrobatic move was adapted from a stunning set piece I saw in Cirque du Soleil.
-平衡是這姿勢的關鍵，當然還要有相當有力的肌肉，這個雜技姿勢是從之前看太陽劇團裡面想出的。
9. Nude Descending Staircase / 裸體下樓梯 - Difficulty 10 / Pleasure -3
(the point is pleasure is -3)
-Here's another one I saw performed at the circus, this time by an Indian swami. To execute it correctly requires tremendous concentration, as well as a ten-foot-long prehensile penis. It hurts really bad, unless you're the one descending, in which case it just feels weird.
-這是另一個我在馬戲團看到有表演的，這次是個印度大師。要正確的執行這項姿勢需要很認真的集中精神，當然還需要個10英呎長適合的老二。這非常疼痛，除非你是下降的的那個人，除此之外就是很怪。
(.........)
10. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon / 巴比倫的空中花園 - Difficulty 10 Pleasure ∞
-Originally one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, this move requires that you build baked-brick walls whose circuit is 385 stadia. The thickness of the walls should be 32 feet, and their uppermost tiers should rise to 60 cubits. Onto these tiers, place enough topsoil so that even the largest trees can take root. Raise water to the different tiers through a serious of ingeniously made Archimedes screws, which deliver copious amounts of water but are hidden from sight. Place your creation on the banks of the Euphrates to get the full effect. Oh, and then have sex there.
-這篇我就直接用我的方式翻了，他就告訴你要如何先蓋好這個空中花園然後要放夠多的土種樹，就是非常詳細的指導教你做跟做愛毫無相關的事情，然後最後他告訴你蓋好後就可以在那做愛。
that's it for now folks!!
....敬請期待Part 2
